In my previous post, I talked about God's process of chiseling away the sinful, hard, unyielding places of my heart and the parts of me I try to conceal. I encourage you to read that post first - here.
Part of what I uncovered in that experience was the revelation that true intimacy in any relationship - with God, with friends, with a spouse - is about opening myself up wide. Or more accurately, allowing God and the work of Grace to open me up wide. This is true connection.
I talked about the element of grief that comes with God uncovering our sin, and the humbling experience of asking for forgiveness is no easy lift either. This is where intimately connected relationships are crucial - we need those in our lives who know our weaknesses, our hurts, and our struggles, and who will walk with us through them.
Intimacy is less about proximity and more about transparency. It's not all about being close to someone, it is about being open and raw and honest, so that you cannot be separated by walls and pretenses and stone-cold scars.
These walls - where the bricks and stones are the hard, sinful places in need of chiseling, and the mortar is formed by the scars of our past - are the mechanism we as humans use to hide our insecurities, bury our brokenness, and close off our sinful tendencies. This leads to the issue that we can never be fully known, and therefore never fully loved, by ourselves or by any other human. It also further complicates the way we relate to God Himself.
But, there is grace in the chisel...because once the hard places are broken off and the scars no longer have anything to hold on to, it is then that the Light will begin to pierce the dark places within us. It is not until those dark places are illuminated that we can fully love and to be fully loved by another. Connection. This concept applies to our friendships, to our spousal relationships, and to our walk with Jesus.
It becomes hard to judge someone else for their issues when your own have been thrown in your face. I had done this for years without even realizing it until the chiseling began. Now, I am better able to identify with the struggles others are walking through, simply because I realize these are the same struggles I deal with in some way or another.
It becomes easier to love my husband and my friends passionately when I am not putting them down in my own mind, but building them up because I realize I NEED them. I am able to identify their needs better and pray for them when I am not preoccupied with covering up my own dark places and making sure my imperfections never see the light of day. This is the root of insecurity - which itself is rooted in pride.
It becomes second nature to pursue God passionately because there are no strongholds left to hold me back from loving Him and being fully loved by Him.
I realized that when we are able to get our own junk out of the way, we are able to open ourselves up to intimacy with one another. This makes for stronger marriages, beneficial friendships, and lifting one another up;
"As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." - Proverbs 27:17
This is true intimacy.
Connection with God Himself through His Son and the Holy Spirit is of utmost importance as well. After all, our human relationships mirror our walk with God. Jesus told His disciples: “Abide in me, and I in you.” This is intimate connection. To abide is to love or dwell, and Jesus invites us to do so IN HIM. Again, there is the step of opening oneself up to this intimacy and remaining there.
And this is where He brings it to my remembrance....that moment a few short years ago when I prayed, "Father, make your passion burn in me for You and for others. Show me what fierce love really is. Help me receive it and model it."
From my own experience, this is a dangerous prayer. It begins a process I never expected, but also brings a reward I never dared hope for. True, honest, lasting connections. Are you up to the challenge?
